The Kung Fu Emperor has no clothes

Warning: Geeky martial arts rambling ahead.


I think in many cases, they really do believe they have "powers" (though few would actually claim any mystic abilities). Because most people who train in styles like that never actually do full-contact sparring with someone seriously trying to hit them. They've learned how leverage/balance/chi/using-your-opponent's-strength-against-him/blahblahblah can work in theory, but to quote the ancient martial arts master Mike Tyson: "Everyone has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth."

There is an old truism that "No martial art is better than any other, they just do things differently." I think this is false. Certainly some are better for certain things, but a lot of martial arts bill themselves as being good for self-defense when in fact they aren't. Tai Chi is one (it's really not even a martial art, it's stretching for old people). Tai Kwon Do* is another. Now, I'm not saying a Tai Chi master or a Tai Kwon Do black belt can't defend himself - at that level of expertise, they certainly know some techniques that will give them an advantage over an untrained attacker. But they will get their asses beat by someone young, tough, fast, and with even a bit of street fighting experience. Especially if they are old, small, or female and have been taken in by the idea that martial arts can make up for being physically inferior. (Martial arts can substitute for physical power - to a point. But only to a point.)

I practice a traditional Japanese form of jujutsu (not Brazilian). It's very self-defense oriented. It's not a tournament style, and we don't do "sparring" per se, because our techniques mostly involve breaking joints and doing other things you can't actually practice full-contact.

On the one hand, it's a very practical style. It's not designed for going five rounds in a ring, it's designed for getting the drop on someone who's holding a knife on you or trying to grab you, throwing them on the ground, and giving you time to run away.

On the other hand, because we can't really practice our techniques in a full-contact manner, I wonder a lot what will happen if I ever actually have to use them. If I were younger, I'd probably supplement my training with something like Brazilian jujutsu or boxing or muy thai. There is a lot of nuance to actually being in a situation where you're trading blows, and to be good at it takes hard, sweaty practice (which, frankly, we don't do enough, and I am too old to want to do). My dojo has gotten, um, older, and softer and lazier over the years. (Our founder was an ex-Special Forces guy. He has long since retired, and we don't do the sorts of hard workouts we did when I started.) I absolutely believe our techniques are effective and our self-defense training is legitimate. But I also know that without being supplemented by actual full-contact sparring, no one in our dojo in their right mind should be getting into a ring with an MMA fighter. (If I found myself in that situation, I'd take maximum advantage of my training and use the dirtiest tricks I could as quickly as possible and then run!)

This is particularly a problem for women, and smaller people. As a short person myself, I know I might surprise the hell out of someone much bigger than me who thinks size alone would let him dominate me, but I also know I'd want to end that fight as quickly as possible, or else I'd get my ass kicked. A lot of women (especially women who've never actually gone toe to toe in a full-contact match with a man) think their black belts will give them the ability to beat up a man who outweighs them by fifty pounds. Umm, no, not in a toe-to-toe match. Use dirty tricks, go for the eyes/throat/instep/groin, and run like hell. No woman can beat a trained, fit male in a fistfight if it lasts more than a few seconds. No amount of martial arts training will turn you into Buffy, just like it won't make me Wolverine. Martial arts is not magic, and size and strength matters. 


* I am mostly referring to the sort of tournament-style Tai Kwon Do you usually see. All those flashy high and spinning kicks that look awesome will get you killed in a real fight. Some Tai Kwon Do schools are more practical, and mix things like hapkido into their training. But I once briefly sparred with a Tai Kwon Do black belt - before I was even a black belt myself. I moved inside her strike zone, grabbed her wrist, and applied a simple wrist lock. She had no idea what to do. Though frankly, because she was a woman, I could have probably just taken her kick and then slugged her, without any training at all.

No, I think you're right. Speed and power wins fights. Technique gives you an edge at the margins. If you doubt this, then ask yourself who you'd put your money on in a fight between a boxer and a gorilla.

A boxer might be in trouble if an MMA fighter gets him on the ground, but if the boxer's speed and footwork is superior, that won't happen.

Back to Rob's earlier question, I do think that the "chi masters" really do believe their own bullshit, at least after a while. I mean, maybe some of them know they're bullshiting at first but then become more deluded over time, but I suspect most of them believe it from the start.

The non-skeptical students are also at fault. They feed the master's ego by faking like they're getting hurt/tossed or otherwise affected by their master's lunatic skills. I'm sure the students even convince themselves that it's real too.

Until something like this happens:



Or this...



Or this, on live TV...

Lol, I saw the one above after you started this thread. It was the basis of my question, in fact. I mean, it's just so silly, all of those guys falling down like they were hit with a baseball bat, when the "master" barely touches them.

I don't know that a video showing Butterbean win more often than he loses when he fights MMA guys is helping your argument...

I'd like to see any of these guys--boxers, MMA fighters, Chi masters--take on Tie Domi...on skates!