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Post by robeiae on May 19, 2017 11:53:11 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2017 12:13:26 GMT -5
I feel really bad for Huma and especially for his kid.
He should serve time -- and get some serious, intensive help. The guy could have had everything, but blew it because of his sick compulsion. And he kept doing it, even after getting caught. Doing it to a fifteen year old girl...yeah. So, so uncool.
It's really difficult to understand other than as a serious addiction. Dude can't help himself -- but that doesn't make it all right.
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Post by robeiae on May 20, 2017 16:44:10 GMT -5
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Post by Christine on May 20, 2017 16:58:46 GMT -5
You have experience with loving someone with a sex addiction, I take it?
So easy to judge; I do it too. But I'm not inside Huma's head or heart, and I do feel compassion for people who find themselves in these awful situations. I wish her all the best, and I hope to god she isn't crushed under the weight of all the ignorant, judgemental "she should've's."
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 17:04:37 GMT -5
To be fair, Huma was pregnant with their first kid when the first bombshell hit. And she was just launching out on a shiny public career she'd worked all her life to obtain. Then her husband (whom she presumably loved) does...this.
Really, what the fuck do you do? I might have dumped him, since I'm a hard-ass. But I can't blame her for trying to put a good public face on it and trying to hold it together. I seen so many who've done that.
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Post by robeiae on May 20, 2017 17:08:05 GMT -5
*shrug*
I "judge" Huma Abedin to be very smart, very capable person. But it's one thing to stand by someone and help them overcome a problem/addiction/what have you. It's something else to use the media as I noted above in order to launch another political comeback for the person who has that problem/addiction. On what planet is that a defensible choice? And this wasn't the first time.
ETA: I should also add that I don't take it as a given that Weiner has a "sickness," whether it's sex addiction or something else. Maybe he's just a world-class douchebag.
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Post by Christine on May 20, 2017 17:19:43 GMT -5
If he was getting some sort of private therapy, if his addiction wasn't evident to Huma on an ongoing, regular basis (addictions are hidden by the addict as much as possible), and if he was showing signs of "recovery," - all of which are a lot more likely, imo, than Huma covering for a series of stomach-turning offenses -what should she have said to the media?
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Post by robeiae on May 20, 2017 17:31:42 GMT -5
She shouldn't be putting their "happy family" on display for political purposes. This wasn't her answering questions from the media, it was her and Weiner inviting the media in to their private life for some good PR.
Moreover, when Weiner left the House in disgrace, he immediately began to engage in sleazy lobbying. Everything about him screams "scumbag," imo (remember, he initially claimed his twitter account had been hacked, possibly by al Qaeda).
And again, I don't accept the "addiction" claim as a matter of course. It's convenient for him (and for her), but it's not a fact. Really, he should be looking at more jail time than the 27 months, imo.
But I will say good for her for getting away from his sorry ass. Good for their kid, especially (who I have a great deal of sympathy for). That doesn't mean I need to buy into the "poor, poor Huma" narrative. Because I don't. She stuck with him through a lot of bullshit. That's her choice, love shmove.
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Post by Optimus on May 20, 2017 17:34:38 GMT -5
You have experience with loving someone with a sex addiction, I take it? In most cases like this, "sexual addiction" isn't actually a thing. It's a fairly modern invention and seems to be little more than an excuse used by celebrities who get caught after failing to exercise self-control. It seems to have been popularized by Tiger Woods (well, really his lawyer, but Woods is the first big celebrity I recall using it as an excuse) but, if I recall correctly, it was invented by some guys in Alcoholics Anonymous. If a person lacks proper self-control or otherwise acts like an idiot, the easy way out is to claim he/she has a "sex addiction" because then they can use medical terminology to cast their behavior as not being their fault, blame-shifting it to a medical/psychological condition ("the addiction made me do it!"). When successfully employed as an excuse, the perpetrator will have successfully portrayed themselves as a victim, with all the sympathy people close to them can muster and illustrated by the pearl-clutching some will do if anyone dares "blame the victim" of this "disease." It's true that in some very rare cases, individuals with bipolar disorder who are experiencing an extreme bout of mania can become sexually compulsive and aggressive, and similar reactions have occurred in people under the influence of very strong drugs, but there's little credible evidence that sex addiction is real or even comes close to reaching the criteria for a diagnosable condition. Usually, it seems like nothing more than a convenient excuse someone uses for their shitty behavior. I agree. I'm not married but I imagine that it's gotta be hard not only going through a divorce (especially when kids are involved), but I'm sure it's much worse doing so in the public spotlight while you're also working for a candidate for President (Clinton) where anything you do might be used against the candidate you're working for.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 17:45:15 GMT -5
I have no defense for Weiner at all. He had some personal responsibility to get help for whatever the fuck is wrong with him. He's a very smart guy with lots of resources -- no excuse. He's getting what's coming to him, and I agree with Rob that maybe he should have more coming to him.
Huma -- I withhold judgment, just because, God, that situation is really so fucked up. I think it's possible she managed to delude herself everything was going to be okay, and the "we're so happy and it's all fine" thing stemmed from that. Honestly, it was so horrifying, and I just can't even imagine being in that position. I don't think I would have stood by him. But well... people do. I've seen people stand by spouses I think they should have totally kicked to the curb, defending them to the bitter fucking end, when it was apparent to everyone that the person didn't deserve it. I don't think it was evil or nefarious for her to stick by him, though it may have been the wrong choice. (Hell, if I were Melania, I'd have kicked Trump to the curb. If I were Hillary, I'd have kicked Bill to the curb. But I do kind of grok why they stayed and stuck up for their husbands, even if it isn't the choice I'd make.)
Anyway, whether Huma's a calculating media whore or a distressed spouse who tried to hold it together, I'm glad she's leaving now, for the sake of their kid (whom I hope we can all degree deserves nothing but sympathy). I hope the kid manages to get some privacy.
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Post by Christine on May 20, 2017 18:06:51 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm definitely not meaning to say I feel sorry for poor Mr. Weiner. (The single thing I do feel sorry for is him as a kid with his last name. Kids should not have to deal with that shit.)
My opinion was in regard to Huma.
As to Opty's point about sexual addiction, it may well be that this behavior doesn't meet any current diagnostic criteria. My non-medical (obvs.) take on "addictions" is that they are things one does, and continues to do, despite the fact that they may well ruin your life, your family, your career, your reputation. It's not logical behavior. It's likely compulsive (there's a part of you that doesn't want to, but you end up doing it anyway). But okay, yeah, maybe it's simply "I don't care." Or somewhere more in the middle, like with rationalizing. "I won't hurt anyone or myself; I'll get away with it this time; it's not really a crime" and all the things that are completely contrary to FACT. Addiction is, I agree, not necessarily the right classification. But I do see it as mentally abnormal.
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Post by Christine on May 20, 2017 18:28:28 GMT -5
She shouldn't be putting their "happy family" on display for political purposes. This wasn't her answering questions from the media, it was her and Weiner inviting the media in to their private life for some good PR. How do you know she didn't feel, during that period of time, that everything was good and that she had her "happy family"? You're armchair quarterbacking.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 18:29:04 GMT -5
I have no idea on the sex addiction thing, but I have to concur with some sort of mental issue. He had already been caught. He's an extremely intelligent guy, and he had to know he'd inevitably be caught again, and there'd be bigly consequences. And he had everything -- EVERYTHING -- to lose. All for the sake of sending a few pictures of his hard-on. I mean, that's fucking sad, really. It's pathetic. I see no other explanation but that he felt a compulsion to do it.
It was stupid and ugly and it really excuses nothing in my eyes, and I'm no doctor -- but there's got to be something wrong somewhere if you repeatedly risk so damn much for something so sad.
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Post by Optimus on May 20, 2017 18:30:43 GMT -5
I don't know the guy, obviously, but based on his attitude/behavior in Congress, in interviews I've seen with him, and given the circumstances of his sexting debacle, he seems like his main problem is narcissism.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 18:41:19 GMT -5
Yeah, I'll buy that.
Whatever. It's fucked up, and for his kid's sake, if nothing else, he should have exercised some freaking self-control. Poor little mite.
The worst thing Weiner did, IMO, was to sext a picture that included his poor baby right next to him. No excuse, ever. None. Okay, the fifteen-year-old was also atrocious. I admit it's a tough call.
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