Post by robeiae on May 12, 2017 8:21:42 GMT -5
I've long been fascinated with how people approach something as simple as walking, when such activity brings them into "conflict" with others. For instance, there's the "mall walk," something I've been noticing since I was in high school. I've seen it mostly from teenage boys, but not exclusively in the least. What am I talking about, you ask? Well, I mean the tendency of some groups of friends to walk side by side in a mall--often with stern looks on their faces--and make a point of not getting out of anyone else's way, but rather forcing others to go around them (it's like playing chicken, to some extent). Two groups of mall walkers traveling in opposite directions who actually meet head on, well anything can happen (usually, they kinda shuffle around each other in what can only be described as a bunch of confused cows trying to get to different barns.
And fyi, if you see some mall walkers coming at you and don't feel like throwing yourself out of their way or pressing yourself up against a wall to let them by, here's a trick: stop walking, then look in a window, check your watch, or check your phones. When you're standing still, they're forced to go around you.
Anyway, there was that old Dr. Seuss story that tackled the issue of stubbornness and pride in this regard: The Zax.
I think it's really pride that is in play here, a false pride to be sure, based on the rather ludicrous notion that forcing people to move out of your way makes you better, stronger, what have you. And when I say I'm fascinated by this stuff, I'm not kidding. At all. Here's an old piece from my blog that's about people refusing to share a running/walking path in a park: www.thepondsofhappenstance.com/2012/10/running-with-jerks-and-entitlement.html
So anyway, what got this stuff back in my wheel house today was an observation involving kids. After I walked my youngest in to school, I headed back to where I had parked, a route that took me down the same path I discussed in the above blog post: a paved pathway--about six feet wide--through a park. I passed other parents walking their kids to school on my way back. Per "the rules of the road," everyone pretty much kept to the right, so there'd be no Zax-esque collisions. Except for one father and son. The father was walking on the the far right--my far left--while his son was on the far left--my far right--and coming directly at me (I was walking close to the edge). As we got closer, I expected the kid to move closer to his father (he wasn't a toddler; fifth grader by the look of him), but he never did, so ended up moving to my left and passing between the two (which is weird, im0, what with "stranger danger" and all that).
Afterwards, I got to thinking about how I walked with my kids. And you know, when we're walking on a sidewalk or a path and someone is coming from the other direction, I warn my kids, I say something like "move over in front of me so that person can get by."
I think that seemingly minor decisions/choices can actually have wide-ranging consequences, when it comes to raising children. I'm not firmly in either the "nature" or the "nurture'; both matter, imo.
But what I'm talking about here is how we teach children to deal with potential conflict, with how we teach them to assess their place in the pecking order, as it were.
Will kids like mine who are directed to step aside for others carry that forward into other aspects of life? Will kids who are instructed to not stop aside carry that forward? Which is better? Are my kids potentially less likely to engage in bullying behavior? Or maybe they're less likely to stand up for themselves, more likely to get used by others?
Thoughts?
And fyi, if you see some mall walkers coming at you and don't feel like throwing yourself out of their way or pressing yourself up against a wall to let them by, here's a trick: stop walking, then look in a window, check your watch, or check your phones. When you're standing still, they're forced to go around you.
Anyway, there was that old Dr. Seuss story that tackled the issue of stubbornness and pride in this regard: The Zax.
I think it's really pride that is in play here, a false pride to be sure, based on the rather ludicrous notion that forcing people to move out of your way makes you better, stronger, what have you. And when I say I'm fascinated by this stuff, I'm not kidding. At all. Here's an old piece from my blog that's about people refusing to share a running/walking path in a park: www.thepondsofhappenstance.com/2012/10/running-with-jerks-and-entitlement.html
So anyway, what got this stuff back in my wheel house today was an observation involving kids. After I walked my youngest in to school, I headed back to where I had parked, a route that took me down the same path I discussed in the above blog post: a paved pathway--about six feet wide--through a park. I passed other parents walking their kids to school on my way back. Per "the rules of the road," everyone pretty much kept to the right, so there'd be no Zax-esque collisions. Except for one father and son. The father was walking on the the far right--my far left--while his son was on the far left--my far right--and coming directly at me (I was walking close to the edge). As we got closer, I expected the kid to move closer to his father (he wasn't a toddler; fifth grader by the look of him), but he never did, so ended up moving to my left and passing between the two (which is weird, im0, what with "stranger danger" and all that).
Afterwards, I got to thinking about how I walked with my kids. And you know, when we're walking on a sidewalk or a path and someone is coming from the other direction, I warn my kids, I say something like "move over in front of me so that person can get by."
I think that seemingly minor decisions/choices can actually have wide-ranging consequences, when it comes to raising children. I'm not firmly in either the "nature" or the "nurture'; both matter, imo.
But what I'm talking about here is how we teach children to deal with potential conflict, with how we teach them to assess their place in the pecking order, as it were.
Will kids like mine who are directed to step aside for others carry that forward into other aspects of life? Will kids who are instructed to not stop aside carry that forward? Which is better? Are my kids potentially less likely to engage in bullying behavior? Or maybe they're less likely to stand up for themselves, more likely to get used by others?
Thoughts?
