Dear manufacturers of, e.g., white noise machines, air conditioners, and fans:
I know I haven't written you in, well, ever, but I have a bone to pick with you, and of course, it could only be picked using Courier font.
When you make devices like, e.g., white noise machines, air conditioners, and fans -- or, hey, smoke alerts and carbon monoxide alerts -- why in the name of the spaghetti monster must you equip them with a brilliant, piercing green light that slices through the darkness and closed eyelids and interferes with sleep? Haven't you read the 80 zillion articles saying that such lights are bad for sleep, and doesn't it seem conceivable that such devices are quite likely to be used in rooms that are for sleeping?
Do we really require lights to tell us these devices are on in the first place? Isn't it sufficient notice of their on-ness that, e.g., white noise or cool air is coming out of them? Isn't that what the test button on the smoke alert is for? And if there really MUST be an on light, why not have it be a soft red light (which has been shown to be much less disruptive to sleep? Why green? And why must it be so bright that several layers of masking tape is insufficient to hide it, so that one must resort to taping a thick piece of cardboard over it?
I know I've never written to you before, given how you're dead and all, but I had something heart-felt to say, and even from your graves you surely understand that it can only be said in Courier font.
I'm sure that when you were naming your kids decades and centuries ago, it seemed like a really great idea to re-use the same names again and again, even if their cousins the same age and born in the same town had the same name. It probably seemed totes fine to intermarry with your cousins over the centuries, too.
But see, here's the thing: someday one of your descendants is going to want to trace her family tree, and she's going to be screaming at her computer screen: "For the love of God, how many Calogera Agros can there possibly BE?! And how many of them had brothers named Guiseppe and also married Guissepes? FFS!" She'll start to wonder if people in Racamulto used to yell, "YO, Carmella!" and had half the girls in the village come running, and whether that wasn't confusing. She'll be saying 'WHY, WHY, would you torture generations of baby girls with a name like Crocifissa? I ask you."
Also, could you all be just a bit less cavalier about giving your birth dates and hometowns and spellings of your names when filling out immigration, census, etc. forms? It's totes unreasonable for descendants of the same dude to spell his name as Hryhorowicz, Herhorowicz, Horowitz, Harowicz, Hryhoroic, and Hartz within two generations. I'm just saying.
Sincerely, your disgruntled descendant, CassandraW
Last Edit: Apr 28, 2018 15:06:35 GMT -5 by Deleted